Part of my journey with working with my nutritional therapist, is to better my depression and anxiety. If you suffer from any mental illnesses, I don’t have to tell you how debilitating they can be, and how much they can hold you back from living the life you want. I was given a writing prompt to jot down a list of things I want to do (that I believe my mental illness and lack of confidence has been holding me back from) and why. I definitely feel anxious about sharing these with the worldwide web, but my hope is it may inspire others to consider what they would attempt, if they knew they could not fail.
If you have done any sort of “diet” program, you have probably been asked to “find your why”. This pretty much means, find the thing(s) that remind(s) you why you started, and that will keep you from giving up on those hard days.
I remember being asked this multiple times while on Weight Watchers and never really having an honest answer. I mean, sure, I had all the cliche “whys”: I want my clothes to fit better; I want to get healthy before getting pregnant; I want to build self confidence. No disrespect If these are your true “whys”, they just weren’t enough for me to give 110% to my weight loss journey (and definitely not enough to keep my from my junk food!) So, when Holly asked me to find my why for my homework (yes, I am given homework – no shame) and for it to be a legit why, I became a little anxious. Sure, I could give her the same ol’, same ol’ reasons for being on this journey, but I knew that wouldn’t be enough, for her or myself.
After procrastinating the entire week, and then proceeding to stare at a blank page for almost two hours, I finally came up with something I could call a why…
Today I found an article about 29 Habits to Break Before Turning 30. Now, as you may know, I have already arrived at my third decade of life, and some of the habits listed within this post I can proudly say I actually did break within the last few years (hooray for me!) However, there were a few stubborn traits that I am having trouble parting with, one being not pursing something I love.
Some can assume that laziness is a factor in my lack of accomplishments in life, but really, its because I can talk myself out of anything, at anytime, any day! Not that I am not lazy (because that was going to be the other habit I wish I didn’t have if I didn’t choose this one) but its not laziness that is the little voice inside my head telling me I can’t do something.
I have always had big dreams. I had multiple majors when in [community] college, I attended two different trade schools (cosmetology and culinary), and I even planned on moving up within a company I had worked for for a few years but instead, I quit a few months before beginning the stepping stone process. I have asked myself if I am really just that indecisive. Although I admit that I can be, its really because I didn’t believe I would be good enough at any of those things so I just bailed (minus culinary school; I mentioned that in15 facts about me) Every major I ever wanted to pursue, I convinced myself that I could not complete the prerequisites, and/or, it would take too long and I would be too old to start a career in “insert any career title here”. This blog almost didn’t make it passed two, or three posts, because I didn’t think I had enough interesting things to write about.