As usual, I had good intentions of completely the blogging goals that I had set for the month of October. This was my way of participating in, what the blogging community calls, “Blogtober”. Although I started the challenge a few days into the month, I figured I could easily meet my 13 post minimum over the 26 days I had left. What I didn’t account for was how my body would react to tapering off my antidepressants.
Part of my journey with working with my nutritional therapist, is to better my depression and anxiety. If you suffer from any mental illnesses, I don’t have to tell you how debilitating they can be, and how much they can hold you back from living the life you want. I was given a writing prompt to jot down a list of things I want to do (that I believe my mental illness and lack of confidence has been holding me back from) and why. I definitely feel anxious about sharing these with the worldwide web, but my hope is it may inspire others to consider what they would attempt, if they knew they could not fail.
If you have done any sort of “diet” program, you have probably been asked to “find your why”. This pretty much means, find the thing(s) that remind(s) you why you started, and that will keep you from giving up on those hard days.
I remember being asked this multiple times while on Weight Watchers and never really having an honest answer. I mean, sure, I had all the cliche “whys”: I want my clothes to fit better; I want to get healthy before getting pregnant; I want to build self confidence. No disrespect If these are your true “whys”, they just weren’t enough for me to give 110% to my weight loss journey (and definitely not enough to keep my from my junk food!) So, when Holly asked me to find my why for my homework (yes, I am given homework – no shame) and for it to be a legit why, I became a little anxious. Sure, I could give her the same ol’, same ol’ reasons for being on this journey, but I knew that wouldn’t be enough, for her or myself.
After procrastinating the entire week, and then proceeding to stare at a blank page for almost two hours, I finally came up with something I could call a why…